The British may have their Gitta Sereny but we have our beloved Matthew Nathan Drudge, coy and retiring creator of the ‘Sludge Report.’ Drudge, a chubby nerd, is a male Hedda Hopper and his Report is a mass of coy remarks and bombast. He loves to tell all of us that 20,000,000 people a day look at his column. I have news for you Matty, they don’t. According to our Presidential observers in the basement here, you are lucky to get 20,000 a day. The larger figure is a dream. You would have to have a monstrous server for the number you crow about and our people are accurate. After all, the Republicans want to see whom to court and whom to ignore. Besides, there aren’t 20,000,000 trailer park residents in the United States. Now Matthew has outed poor Prince Harry. This young gentleman is a soldier and really wants to go with his men into battle. Kept out of Iraq by the officials, he kept pestering his Grandmother the Queen until he was sent to Afghanistan instead. The really vile and rapacious British media agreed to keep quiet about this our of respect for him but our own Chubby Matt had to coyly print this. In old Salem, we used ducking stools for the likes of Drudge but they banned these along with burning witches some time ago. Couldn’t we bring back at least one of them? If we brought both of them back, it would be bye-bye Hillary.
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